the interns

I'm starting the interview process for the program's Spring interns this week. I must say, I'm slightly nervous and uncomfortable about it. I've been told I'm being slightly ridiculous since I'm doing 6 interviews. I just want to give them all the benefit of the doubt and ensure that I'm not overlooking anything about these candidates. The scars of job hunting and rejection are still a bit fresh. I don't know how I'm going to negotiate those feelings and my desire to take the best 3 candidates. I'd take them all, but I simply cannot manage 6 interns. Plus, as an agency, we traditionally only take up to three for each department.

My philosophy with the interns is that they should create more work for me, in the sense that I don't want them to do bullshit tasks... but actually get some hands on learning. They are not slaves. They're the next wave of our activists, advocates and educators. (Can you tell I had an awful internship once upon a time?) My goal is that by May, they'll be able to cofacilitate groups...or even fly solo. If only I could take all of them... UGH!

First World Problem? Possibly...

austin cary teaching forest

Our final field trip for Local Flora was to Austin Cary forest.  Austin Cary is owned by the University of Florida's School of Forestry for the purpose of teaching forest management techniques such as prescribed burns (that is what we're calling controlled burns these days), and ecofriendly(er) tree farms.  The habitat is predominantly mesic flatwoods which, depending on the elevation, grades into sandhills (higher elevation) or swamps (lower elevations).

Mesic flatwoods occur on relatively flat, moderately to poorly drained terrain.  The soil is acidic and typically consists of 1-3 feet of sand over a hard clayey subsoil.  The habitat is prone to seasonal flooding during the rainy season and drought during the dry season.  The system is occasionally prone to fire, burning every 5-10 years.  Mesic flatwoods are the most widespread and common biological communities in Florida.  

On the one hand I was sad this was our last trip, on the other VERY happy.  It was about 90 degrees out by 10:00am.  Much too hot for me to care about what this plant looks like in its natural setting.  I'm all about being out in the woods having a good ol time.  I just prefer not to melt in the process.  I was the person muttering "Please rain.  Please rain.  Please rain."  When there was not a cloud in the sky.  A girl can dream can't she?

Hypercium brachyphyllum (Coastal plain St. John's wort)

Diodia virginiana (Button weed)

Austin Cary Forest

Woodwardia virginiana (Virginia chain fern)

Pteridium aquilinum (Bracken fern)

Gaylussacia nana (Glue huckleberry)

campus

This is the final week of field trips for my Local Flora class.  As the semester comes to a close (Summer A is abbreviated into a six week intensive semester), I can't help but feel slightly sad.  This is my last botany course of my undergraduate career... and if I decide to go in a different direction when I figure my life out, possibly ever.  I don't think I'll ever stop being curious or wondering about the natural world... but I honestly fear having a job that does not involve it in some way.  Would I be happy?  Could I be content for long enough to save money and go back to school?  

I had an interview today with the local domestic violence shelter, Peaceful Paths, and I think it went rather well.  But I got home and started thinking about how different I felt in that particular interview than I did in my last with Environment America.  I felt nervous of course, but not nearly as excited about the idea of working there as I did previously.  Not that I find Violence Prevention a lesser cause, but more because environmental protection, conservation, and advocacy is where I think I'll find my niche.  It combines both the activism and move for social change that I love with the world I wish to protect and share with others.  But then again, who knows what I'll be good at or what I'll really find the most joy in doing.  I'll just have to wait and try things out.

I really just want someone to pay me to have a garden, make things, sit on a porch and read.  Too bad these things sound more like hobbies than careers... or even short term job fixes.   I've been so wrapped up in finishing school and getting out, I've forgotten how much I really do enjoy learning.  Perhaps waiting to go to onto my masters is a good thing.  Perhaps I'll remember why I loved learning so much.  And wonder why I was in such a hurry to get out/finish.  Or maybe I'll discover how to learn without wanting some sort of grade or certification for it.  Learn for the shear joy of learning.

Macfadyena unguis-cati (Cat's claw vine)

Tillandsia usneoides (Spanish moss)

Colocasia esculenta (Wild taro)

Pleopeltis polypodioides (Resurrection fern)

Lagerstroemia indica (Crape myrtle)

Zamia pumila (Coontie)

Butia capitata (Pindo palm)

ocala national forest part 2

This ecosystem happens to be one of my personal favorites, and has been for some time now.  Yet, it is highly endangered due to fire suppression, over grazing, urban sprawl, and timbering.  It is actually one of the most endangered ecosystems on Earth.  Florida is a very unique place not only for the Everglades in the Southern portion of the state, but also because of these Longleaf pine sandhills, which were once very prevalent in North/Central Florida.  These communities have been reduced to 3% of their original range.

 

Sandhills occur on hilltops and slopes of gently rolling hills of sand.  The soil is very sandy, dry, and nutrient poor.  These soils are composed of deep, marine deposited yellowish sand which is well drained and relatively sterile.  The leached nutrients are brought back to the surface by the burrowing habits of some animals.  Fires is a dominant factor in the ecology of this community.  They are a fire climax community, being dependent on frequent low-intensity ground fires to reduce hardwood competition and to perpetuate pines and grasses dominant in these habitats.  The dominant plant species in this community are dependent on fire every 2-8 years to induce flowering, such as in wire grass (Aristida stricta).  Without frequent fires, sandhills may eventually succeed to xeric hammock (dry, hardwood forests), and dominated by turkey oak (Quercus laevis).

Longleaf pine (Pinus palustris) Sandhill ecosystem

Longleaf pine Sandhill

Stylisma abdita (Showy dawn flower), Convolvulaceae (Morning glory Family)

This plant is extremely difficult to see if not in flower due to its thin, inconspicuous leaves.  It is also extremely rare due to habitat destruction.

Stillingia sylvatica (Queen's delight)

Croton argyranthemus (Healing croton)

*This plant exudes a clearish/yellow sap which can be used as an antiseptic on wounds.

Yucca flaccida (Adam's needle)

ocala national forest

Cladina evansii ("deer moss" acutally a lichen)

Ceratiola ericoides (Florida rosemary)

Persea humilis (Scrub bay/silk bay) 

*edible

Quercus myrtifolia (myrtle oak)

Fun fact:  Q. myrtifolia acorns are the favorite food and the tree is the favorite nesting material of the Florida scrub jay (Aphelocoma coerulescens)

Rhynchospora megalocarpa (sandyfield beadsedge)

Sand pine (Pinus clausa) scrub ecosystem

Sabal etonia (Scrub palmetto)

Lyonia ferruginea (Rusty lyonia)

Fun fact:  The 'rusty' color of the leaves is actually due to small scale like hairs.

natural area teaching lab (NATL)

Centrosema virginianum (Climbing Butterfly pea)

Rubus cuneifolius (blackberry)

Ipomoea pandurata (Man-of-the-Earth; morning glory family)

NATL

Sapium sebiferum (Chinese tallow tree)

Betula nigra (River birch)

Cephalanthus occidentalis (button bush)

Cyperss sp. (sedge)

Juncus effusus (soft rush)

cedar key part 2

Many Uca pugilator (sand fiddler).  I wanted to name them all and make them my army.

Uca pugilator (male)

Avicennia germinans (black mangrove)

Borrichia frutescens (seaside oxeye)

Borrichia frutescens with what I believe to be Ascia monuste (great southern white) due to the habitat I found it in and the plants it was pollinating.  

I used the National Audubon Society Field Guide to Florida to identify the sand fiddler crab and the great southern white butterfly.  I love this guide for its glossy, color pictures that help me identify things I'm not specialized to identify.

cedar key

Yesterday I went with my Local Flora class to Cedar Key for some good old fashioned hands on learning.  There was copious quantities of mud, fiddler crabs and awesome plants.  I've been to Cedar Key before and knew must of the flora there already, but it was nice to go out and play with the excuse of being productive.

Saltmarsh

Baccharis halimifolia (Saltbrush/Groundsel tree)

Serenoa repens (saw palmetto)

Batis maritima (saltwort) and Spartina alterniflora (saltmarsh cordgrass)

Batis maritima

  

beginnings and endings

My last round of classes begin tomorrow and I feel slightly odd about it.  The feelings is a clumpy mixture of the typical nerdy excitement I feel at the beginning of every semester, elation that this IS finally the end, annoyance that I can't plan anything after August 8 and terror.  Mostly the terror.

npr

Saturday morning I was listening to NPR on the walk to retrieve my car from downtown and there was a segment on about natives of Kodiak Alaska and their lack of knowledge/record of their own heritage. The journalists went on to explain how there was a private collection of the tribes’ masks in France and the owner was loaning (not returning) the collection to the people to learn from and put on display in a local museum. This was seen as a wonderful thing and a great miracle that the artifacts were preserved. 

I started thinking: How did these masks end up as a collector’s item rather than part of the local knowledge? Should the French collector be morally obligated to return the masks to their rightful holders? Who exactly should own these pieces? Should they be part of the local commons, owned by the people? Because of globalization and the homogenization of place and people, are things being lost and appropriated to ‘lovely’ home furnishings? What exactly is the ‘right’ thing to do here?

I also had issue with how NPR presented this. Essentially they were saying, that thanks to the French collector, these artifacts were saved and not lost or damaged or buried in some ditch by the native peoples. Sending the message, at least to me, that clearly these people were incapable of preserving their own traditions. Only the white Western elite could do such preservation. 

Then I started analyzing my own apartment and décor. Did I own anything that was culturally appropriated from a community or identity that I do not belong to? What about all the things I brought back from India? I tried to only buy things that were handicrafts and made specifically for consumption purposes… but what sort of message was I sending wearing or displaying such items back in the US? Were these things signifiers of wealth and ability (Look at me I went to India…)? How should I feel about this, I mean clearly my consumption in India in 2008 is vastly different than 18th century Native American masks… but still related.

----

Back to work... I wish I could incorporate the above thoughts and ideas into my final project, but alas, I feel its too late in the game.  Also, so many types of things I'm being forced to include.  So much of this writing process feels so unnatural and awkward it is probably one of the reasons I'm so miserable with it.  I'm just disappointed that something I was looking forward to doing/creating for a year and a half has been one of my largest dreads for the past few months.  Square pegs simply do not fit in round holes without a lot of sanding and shaving.  Perfect metaphor for this paper.  I've sanded it down to where I barely recognize it as my own creation.  Rather it was something that was custom ordered, returned several times and continually rejected.  I hate it.  It doesn't make any sense outside the context of my instructor's class, nor is it an accurate reflection of my academic interests.  Great job Women's Studies.  Way to suck out my soul.

All will be done, for better, for worse, in two days.  Maybe I'll feel somewhat human again.

out of the ordinary

This past Sunday I was invited to facilitate a workshop at the University of Florida's Annual Women's Leadership Conference.  I've facilitated workshops there in the past, usually with LBG(TQ) as my partner in crime.  This year however, it was just me.  Flying solo was odd, but interesting and somewhat empowering knowing I could do it on my own.  And I learned quite a bit from my audience...  more than I originally expected.

I presented a workshop I designed and facilitated last November for an internship I was doing at the Civic Media Center.  The workshop, Feminism in Media, focused on popular forms of media and the importance of having a feminist voice included/present.  Since magazines, zines, phamphlets, and now blogs are some of the most popular and accessible outlets for generating dialogues around feminist issues and concerns, I felt it was important to explore and discuss what such a presence looks like.  The goals of the workshop included, but were not limited to: creating a working definition of feminist media, providing/exploring historical background on where it has been, and sought to present examples of feminist publications, blogs, and zines.

The last time I facilitated the workshop people had 1) heard of all or most of the publications I discussed, 2) majority were familiar generally familiar with feminism and or self-defined feminists, and 3) were willing to engage in a dialogue/debate.  I had brought in 30-40 copies of issues of bitch, BUST, off our backs, Venus, Adbusters, The Nation, Harpers, Mother Jones, and GOOD.  I had laid the items out all over the front table and encouraged people to come up and check them out.  People were hesitant at first, but either out of boredom or curiosity, eventually came up and took a look.  I spent the 10 minutes (which felt like hours) of the workshop pulling teeth to get people to talk.  I have a newfound respect and admiration for instructors and teachers who constantly speak to a room full of seemingly uninterested people who may or may not be staring blankly at you.  Highly nerve racking and frustrating experience.  But we soon found some common ground and people warmed up to the idea of talking.  Probably after I told them, "You know, this is going to suck if you all don't want to talk.  This is an informal chat, so there's no need to feel uncomfortable.  I'm not giving you a grade or anything and I'm no expert on this.  I'm just another student with a fascination and passion for sharing.  Honestly we'd be sitting in a circle if the chairs weren't connected, and I'd be in jeans and a t-shirt if they'd had let me."  That made them smile a bit and broke down the whole expert/passive information sponge dichotomy.  

Since the audience was more "mainstream" than my previous (the Civic Media Center is an alternative reading room and library for non-corporate press thus generally attracting the "alternative/hippie" crowd) I had intended on tying in bigger name publications such as Cosmo and Glamor and comparing them to bitch, BUST, and Venus.  But since the group had never heard about the majority of the above titles, we ended up discussing if Cosmo could be considered feminist in any capacity.  Which, was very interesting.  

We then discussed blogs and internet outlets.  Particularly a social networking site utilized by the Greek (not as in Greece, but as in Sorority/Fraternity) community at UF called JuicyCampus.  I had never heard of the site and immediately felt old and out of touch.  Apparently the site was something like twitter (or something of that nature) where you could post comments about Greek life and specific people.  The site was recently shut down because it was slanderous and downright horrible (people were discussing top 5 people to sleep with and who gave the best blow jobs).  While I'd never read or seen any of this, I jumped at the chance to discuss the whore/madonna labels and question why there wasn't more solidarity between sororities.  We started discussing how if members of sororities stopped tolerating the sort of treatment/stereotypes/behavior from their so called brothers, the brothers would be forced to change their ways... or at least question it.  If you don't accept being called a whore or slut, the term looses its power and sting.  The same reaction isn't presented, and the motivation behind someone calling another that is lost.  It was as if a hundred light-bulbs turned on at one time.  While not ever imagined to be an intended goal, I felt the talk was very productive.  We then discussed things like heteronormativity, body image, etc  and the role glamor magazines, media, and advertising in creating/reinforcing these constructions.

By the end of my 50 minutes, I felt we had all learned something... or at least entertained me to the fact that we had.  I also had 3 people come up and tell me how much they enjoyed the workshop and where could they find the publications I'd talked about?  Another informed me they were excited to explore the hand out and list of websites I'd provided.  

Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better response.  For such a rocky start, I'd say it was an overall success.  I'd might even venture to guess Oscar nominee... just kidding.  It also happened to be the self-esteem booster I'd been needing for some time.  I'd been feeling pretty crappy about my abilities to do anything right lately.  And a group of complete strangers did what my friends and family have been trying to do for years: assure me that I was good at something and what I had to say was valid.

a blip on my radar

So... many may remember last May when Bernie Bear decided to fuck with CLAS, CALS, and pretty much everything he deemed "unworthy" to save money due to budget crises. Well, below is an indicator that things will continue on the downward spiral and get nastier.  

I'm not going to interpret or jump to any conclusions, but read carefully my friends this is an indicator that things will be getting very ugly. Perhaps if we had better heating/cooling/lighting systems instead of running all those in the middle of the night, this wouldn't be an issue... but what do I know. I'm just a number.

---

To: Faculty, staff and students  

From: President Bernie Machen  

Re: UF's Budget  

With the Legislature wrapping up its special session this week, I want to bring you up to date on our current budget situation and outline how we plan to proceed in developing the budget for the next year.  

As part of its mid-year budget plan to close a $2.3 billion shortfall, the Legislature made permanent the 4 percent hold-back from last July. We have already set aside these funds, so no more cuts for the current fiscal year will be required. In taking this action, the Legislature agreed to our request not to be cut beyond the 4 percent due to the difficulties of reducing budgets in the middle of an academic year. Next year, however, is problematic. 

Over the last two years, the state's budget has been reduced $7 billion and estimates are that next year's budget will be at least $3.4 billion less than this year. That is a huge deficit going forward and all sectors of the state will be affected. The anticipated size of the overall reduction is much discussed; we are preparing for an amount in the $72 million to $75 million range. Therefore, I am asking all units (academic and administrative) to prepare budget reduction proposals in the amount of 10 percent of their current budget. This process will involve faculty, staff and students but is led by the administrators who are responsible for fiscal matters. Provost Joe Glover and others are also developing a set of possible reductions that cut across units.  

We expect to have a list of possible reductions by mid-to-late March and have open discussion for 30 to 45 days so everyone has the opportunity for input. The legislative session ends on May 1, after which we will know the exact amount of our reduction. At that time, final recommendations will be made to the Board of Trustees.  

We will keep you informed with periodic updates over the next four months as we move through the budget-cutting process. The information will be posted on a new Web site dedicated to the budget that will be up and running in coming weeks. A link for the Web site will be available on UF's home page.  

Thank you for your support during this difficult time. We are a strong institution and will weather the difficult economic times ahead.

critique

This column ran in The Independent Florida Alligator (local Gainesville/UF rag) and enraged me enough to write the editor.  Below is the column, which ran Thursday, and my response which ran today:

Thursday, October 23, 2008 1:56 AM EDT

Halloween treats adults to more than just candy

By STEPHANIE DUNN, Alligator Writer

I'm convinced Halloween was created for the sole purpose of getting boned. No other holiday compares. When mischief and moonlight abound, someone is going to get laid. Throw in a chintzy costume, garish makeup and orange beer, and you're done for.

Long gone are the days when you relentlessly sought the creepiest costume, the one that would really make your Nana piss her granny panties when you popped up from behind the couch spewing fake blood and guts. We college students still take our costume hunting seriously, but in a decidedly naughtier direction. That angelic little girl who, a decade ago, was happy with a wand, glitter and plastic pumpkin for trick–or–treating has morphed into a ravenous, raunchy little hooker – but just for Oct. 31. Unless you go to FSU, then it's a year–round ordeal.

This is apparently the formula: Take any character or profession and whorify it beyond recognition. Really slut it up – underwear will suffice. Oh, you're a Victoria's Secret Angel for Halloween? How clever. You can be a sexy nun, a sexy soccer mom, a sexy sex slave. It doesn't matter, as long as it's transparent, shows butt cheek or cleavage, and comes equipped with an accessory that can double as a sex toy later on – fishnets or a whip will do. Since when are Disney princesses cock–mongering whores? Since now. Guys are minimalists. If they put any effort into their costumes at all, which is a rarity, they go for the funny costumes or at least ones they think are funny. Dead celebrities, political parodies, cross–dressing, the usual. But I think that deep down, they want to be sexy for Halloween, too. Whether they're 12 or 22, guys fantasize about being Batman, Superman, anything ending in "man." They can fulfill their boyish fantasies for a night, even if they'll ultimately be disappointed in how they look in a bat suit, and I get that. What I don't buy is the guy who starts hitting the gym in September, oils up his abs and quads, and slaps on a four–inch long loincloth thing because "King Leonidas kicked ass in '300'!" 

Couples should just pick each other's costumes because it's a free pass to hand–select who they want to take home at the end of the night. It's like cheating without the guilt. Any other night of the year, if you dress up for sex you're either kinky beyond belief or your relationship has gotten so boring that dressing up is a last resort. Not so on All Hallows Eve. The one thing that hasn't changed since we were kids is that Halloween is all about indulgence. If you have a fetish, tonight you can go all–out. A fetish doesn't necessarily have to do with feet or body fluids I'd frankly rather not mention. It can be as simple as a "thing," and everyone has a thing. You're bound to find at least three people from your fantasies parading drunk down the street, so why not take advantage?

I know that not everyone gets all skanked up for Halloween and that some of us have an ounce of originality left. I daresay it would be more fun if we still dressed up in scary costumes. But somewhere along the line, it clicked that fear and sex go together in a sick Freudian way (hence the adrenaline–filled horror movie sex scenes). Eventually, we decided to leave out the unpleasant fear component and just go with pure sex. So, in honor of Slut–o–ween, treat yourself to a trick and leave the candy for the kids.

Friday, October 24, 2008 1:11 AM EDT

Halloween sex column lacked substance

By Liz Martin, 4LS

I was bothered enough to feel compelled to write about Stephanie Dunn’s Thursday article “Halloween treats adults to more than candy” in this week’s edition of Sex on the Avenue.

I’m impressed that the Alligator has the gall to run a seemingly sex–positive column; in fact I applaud it whole–heartedly. However, this writer has continually missed the mark and simply enraged me this week.

I do not approve of the way in which Dunn presented her case against scandalously clad women on Halloween. Is Halloween really the one holiday “created for the sole purpose of getting boned”?   What about New Year’s Eve? Or Valentine’s Day?

The way in which Dunn discussed women’s costume choices both degraded and reinforced the objectification of women and their bodies.  By calling women “sluts” and “whores,” Dunn recreated the image that women are objects asking to be ravaged, exploited and “boned.”  It’s highly degrading to construct women as inferior beings who don’t seem to have enough sense not to dress up like “raunchy little hookers.”

Then Dunn moved on to men. Why are men continually painted as brutish, lazy and sex–crazed? These stereotypes hurt men just as much as they do women. They encourage men to act in a hyper–masculine manner and send the message that something is wrong with them if they don’t behave this way.

There were many other things that bothered me about Dunn’s work, but what was most frustrating was the lack of any real critique or content.  I would rather see the space used to actually discuss these constructions and people’s seemingly sex–driven Halloween choices than some crap about how women are all sluts on Halloween, how dressing up is an excuse for people to play out their “kinky beyond belief” fantasies or pretend their partners are someone else because on this one night, it is socially excusable.

article published!

I talked a week or so ago about being asked to write an article for some friend's budding publication The Fine Print.  Well, here is the final product:

http://thefineprintuf.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=38:women-and-water-in-india&catid=1:art-a-culture&Itemid=2

While I'm nervous about how I'll react upon receiving criticism, it's something I a) need to come to terms with and b) am really proud of myself for simply doing.  It took me quite some time to actually write the article.  I'm also forever indebted to Hanners and Kite for allowing me to use some of their amazing pictures from the trip.  I didn't know exactly how to deliver what the editors had asked for, mostly because I couldn't articulate what I wanted to.  I'm still having a difficult time discussing and truly explaining my experiences.  Yet I feel that this article is probably the most real and accessible I've been in terms of explaining it.  It's odd, I can talk to people from the trip very easily mostly because I don't have to really explain anything, but get me with someone who knows limited things about India and I get overwhelmed and don't know where to start.  I suppose I don't really care what people have to say about it.  A classmate of mine, a graduate student from India, said she really enjoyed the piece and found it rather accurate.  Greatest compliment I could have received and all I needed.

Also, if you acquire a print copy of the publication, be sure to read Losing Grace by Matthew Clark.  It's not online for some reason.  I wish it was so I could post a link for it.  It's a short column, but I honestly feel it's the best written and most interesting piece in the 24 page publication.  I'm not just saying that because Matthew is a dear friend of mine, but because it is what I truly believe.  He's a wonderful writer and I, for one, look forward to reading more of his work.