Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Fuck lawyers, law, and cops.  THIS is justice.


Monday, April 27, 2009

tangental thoughts

I'm currently attempting to study for an exam.  Clearly.  Actually, I'm continually refreshing a page on my computer to see if I've passed my other exam I took Saturday morning... and honestly it's killing me.  They posted the exam answers, but of course my trusty computrex will not read the file.  Oh technology!  The anticipation is just too much, so I burst into tears earlier this morning.  Thankfully a friend curbed that with a heaping dose of creepy humor.  What the hell is google thinking with its latitude program!?  I don't want people to know where I am at all times.  It's unnecessary.  And makes it even more difficult to be sneaky, which I have enough problems with as is.  Unfortunately small size does not directly correlate with ninja like abilities... or so I've been informed.  This informant may just be full of shit though.  Probability is high.  


Birdface's friend/cage mate/real mate Sweety has been laying eggs since early March (the pair have been living together for three years and never seemed to like each other until loudly mating during a dinner party of mine).  She laid her latest yesterday afternoon.  We're up to six.  I take them and dispose of them.  I did feel somewhat conflicted and terrible because I was essentially aborting their children, but the past several eggs have been cracked or damaged in some way so I don't have to feel too bad about removing them.  Sweety must be taking care of them herself.  I kind of want a good one though, so I can blow the goo out and have one of the shells.  They are quite beautiful.  Perfect tiny spheres of creamy... eggshell... white.  Like mentos colored.  Great candy, but I can't eat it anymore because all I can think of is parakeet eggs.  

Hanners informed me that everyone in my life got together and has plotted to be happily coupled to spite me.  According to her, birdface and sweety are in on this plot.  Ass holes.  Seriously.  Sometimes they cuddle in my presence which only enrages me more because I spend a good chunk of time trying to convince friends to cuddle and that it wouldn't be weird or anything.  Completely normal.  Everyone's doing it.


The rents went to New Orleans for Jazz fest.  I'm so insanely jealous.  I WANT TO GO TO JAZZ FEST!  Mostly for free... which is how attending things with the rents works.  You know, since they have the job things that I don't have.  Speaking of which.  I've applied for 30... and only heard back from one.  It was a rejection... but at least I heard something.  I didn't really want to teach small children about the environment.  Stupid children and their stupid tiny hands.


Upside to life:  I have a Sweetgum (Liquidambar styraciflua) sapling.  I acquired it by walking through an Earth Day festival on Wednesday.  It's currently sitting on a table in my living room, being awkwardly tall... about 2 feet and adorable.  It's in a little pot but will soon be in a bucket so I can take it to my next place of residence.  The people at this current location have proven they suck and are not qualified to have such a beautiful parting gift from me.  At our old apartment at La Cucaracha, Greenie, well she's now Heckatron, planted a banana tree outside our door.  My roommate's little brother lives in our old place now and said it'd gotten about 2 feet tall... and then the grounds crew chopped it down.  I hope the place is bulldozed soon.  I should do something obnoxious to the landlord again.  Like when he complained to us that for some reason wild birds pooped on the sidewalk outside our place, I hung pine cones covered in peanut butter and birdseed outside our door to encourage the continuation of such behavior.  Needless to say, Ray and I didn't get along.  


I'm going to clean the fridge.  Something smells terrible in it... per usual.

Friday, April 24, 2009

home life



is there more to life?

Monday, April 20, 2009


Saturday morning I was listening to NPR on the walk to retrieve my car from downtown and there was a segment on about natives of Kodiak Alaska and their lack of knowledge/record of their own heritage. The journalists went on to explain how there was a private collection of the tribes’ masks in France and the owner was loaning (not returning) the collection to the people to learn from and put on display in a local museum. This was seen as a wonderful thing and a great miracle that the artifacts were preserved. 

I started thinking: How did these masks end up as a collector’s item rather than part of the local knowledge? Should the French collector be morally obligated to return the masks to their rightful holders? Who exactly should own these pieces? Should they be part of the local commons, owned by the people? Because of globalization and the homogenization of place and people, are things being lost and appropriated to ‘lovely’ home furnishings? What exactly is the ‘right’ thing to do here?

I also had issue with how NPR presented this. Essentially they were saying, that thanks to the French collector, these artifacts were saved and not lost or damaged or buried in some ditch by the native peoples. Sending the message, at least to me, that clearly these people were incapable of preserving their own traditions. Only the white Western elite could do such preservation. 

Then I started analyzing my own apartment and d├ęcor. Did I own anything that was culturally appropriated from a community or identity that I do not belong to? What about all the things I brought back from India? I tried to only buy things that were handicrafts and made specifically for consumption purposes… but what sort of message was I sending wearing or displaying such items back in the US? Were these things signifiers of wealth and ability (Look at me I went to India…)? How should I feel about this, I mean clearly my consumption in India in 2008 is vastly different than 18th century Native American masks… but still related.


Back to work... I wish I could incorporate the above thoughts and ideas into my final project, but alas, I feel its too late in the game.  Also, so many types of things I'm being forced to include.  So much of this writing process feels so unnatural and awkward it is probably one of the reasons I'm so miserable with it.  I'm just disappointed that something I was looking forward to doing/creating for a year and a half has been one of my largest dreads for the past few months.  Square pegs simply do not fit in round holes without a lot of sanding and shaving.  Perfect metaphor for this paper.  I've sanded it down to where I barely recognize it as my own creation.  Rather it was something that was custom ordered, returned several times and continually rejected.  I hate it.  It doesn't make any sense outside the context of my instructor's class, nor is it an accurate reflection of my academic interests.  Great job Women's Studies.  Way to suck out my soul.

All will be done, for better, for worse, in two days.  Maybe I'll feel somewhat human again.