First You Pierce Your Nose, Then You Have Illegitimate Children
Me: I’m piercing my nose
Mom: Fine, I’m not raising your illegitimate children.
Mom: You’ll pierce your nose, get a trashy boyfriend and end up with illegitimate children. You and your trashy boyfriend are not living in my house, and neither are your kids.
Me: Wow mom, thanks for the credit. Clearly that’s the natural progression after piercing your nose
Thankfully this is not the response I received when I pierced my nose.