Sunday, May 18, 2008


India is less than two weeks away.  I'm nervous and thrilled all in the same breath.  

Each moment brings new wonderment and anxiety.  
New anticipation.  
New mystery.  
New fears.

It'd be a complete lie to say I'm not scared.  I am.  I can't help but be.  I know I'll be safe and fine.  It's "The Experience of a Lifetime!"  Just because I'm so excited doesn't mean I'm not also terrified like a bride-to-be.  Poised.  ready for flight.  

I've been reading like a fiend this past week in efforts to prepare myself for the great unknown.  I can't stop from feeling antsy.  Nothing I do seems to adequately occupy my time, nor can I sit still long enough to finish any project or task.  I sleep a lot.  Dreaming of India.

Perhaps my current locale is not a great place for me to pass this time.
I miss the bakery
I miss the small town, tight knit feel of the 'ville.
I miss originality.
I miss non chain, non corporate places to explore
I miss my bike
I miss friends
I miss adventures.

This feeling is something I need to get used to.  Six weeks in India might teach me how to finally be patient.  How to let go.  How to simply be.  These are the only things I hope to get out of the trip.  I don't want to consume the culture.  I don't long for material treasures I'll find for myself.  I want to simply observe and explore.  Learn.  Completely.  Totally.  Deeply.  Like a new lover.  When you spend the day in bed exploring each other.  Contours.  Flaws.  Wrinkles.  Colors.  Shapes.  Smells.

India, I'm ready for our intimacy.

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