Each moment brings new wonderment and anxiety.
It'd be a complete lie to say I'm not scared. I am. I can't help but be. I know I'll be safe and fine. It's "The Experience of a Lifetime!" Just because I'm so excited doesn't mean I'm not also terrified like a bride-to-be. Poised. ready for flight.
I've been reading like a fiend this past week in efforts to prepare myself for the great unknown. I can't stop from feeling antsy. Nothing I do seems to adequately occupy my time, nor can I sit still long enough to finish any project or task. I sleep a lot. Dreaming of India.
Perhaps my current locale is not a great place for me to pass this time.
I miss the bakery
I miss the small town, tight knit feel of the 'ville.
I miss originality.
I miss non chain, non corporate places to explore
I miss my bike
I miss friends
I miss adventures.
This feeling is something I need to get used to. Six weeks in India might teach me how to finally be patient. How to let go. How to simply be. These are the only things I hope to get out of the trip. I don't want to consume the culture. I don't long for material treasures I'll find for myself. I want to simply observe and explore. Learn. Completely. Totally. Deeply. Like a new lover. When you spend the day in bed exploring each other. Contours. Flaws. Wrinkles. Colors. Shapes. Smells.
India, I'm ready for our intimacy.