Monday, May 5, 2008

tissues and blood

I  had a wonderful day and even more pleasant evening catching up with old friends.  Old friends that know more about me than I'd ever conceived imaginable.  Two women who can read my thoughts, predict my reactions, tickle and love me through a friendship  words will never do justice.

Later as I stood in my living room folding laundry, I started to deeply reflect on what the concept of friendship and relationships mean to me.  One friend is my inspiration.  My guide in my journey towards feminism.  My encouragement in activism and ideas.  My logic and reason.  The other, my rock.  My support structure.  The foundation of my strengths.  My shield when I need protection.  I love them both.  Deeper than I probably have any partner.  I sat down at my desk and begin to collage.  I started again.  I don't remember why I stopped or what happened to the half finished pieces.  Last week, while cleaning I found a folder of bits I'd saved to put together later.  It had also reminded me of the two women I love so much.  I thought about how and why our trio had grown together over such a vast span of time.  Over half my life, these two people have been present in some shape or form.  I won't lie.  Our relationships have seen some trying times.  Like spinning thread simply spun too thin.  However, these ties never broke.  We've worked out many kinks, with determination on all sides. 

After a while, I got up and washed my face in the bathroom.  Upon wiping my face on the bath towel, I saw bright red blood.  I couldn't figure out where it came from.  It shone so brightly on the pale yellow towel.  I grabbed a tissue in attempts to clot the blood and spare the towel of further staining.  Not to be morbid, but I've always been drawn to how tissues absorb things, especially blood.  The image of the droplet is oddly beautiful and calming to me.  The edges of each spot blurry, the color - fluid and unique.  Each droplet it's own individual.  Yet occasionally venturing into other another.  I thought of my childhood/teenage/adulthood friends, my life mates, who have always been and always will be.  My tissues who absorb the pain and pleasures that spill out of me.  Without question.  The beautiful, individual droplets of bright color.

This is love.  

Love is a bloody tissue.  In a dark lonely bathroom.  At 2:00am.  Love is the bits of paper and images tucked away for later.  Lingering as a reminder of what has come and what will.

Above was taken in Gainesville on May 5, 2008.
We were watching a documentary and creating.

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